Jerry, you need to find god
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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