Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
