I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
