My nipple is on Facebook.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
