Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
