we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
