i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
