What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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