So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
