Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Be still, my beating vagina.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
