my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
