All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
please come you make the beer taste better
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
