Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
