I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
