Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
