And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
