Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
