Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
