Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
