So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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