Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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