Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize