Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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