i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
