I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
