I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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