I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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