I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
