Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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