I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
