y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
