why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
