So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
even my farts smell like vagina
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
