So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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