In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
