hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
