He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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