Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
