She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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