he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
