my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just cropdusted the office
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
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