if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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