Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
