When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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