But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
