shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
