are you so shy because you have an std?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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