Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The adults are the big ones right?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
