i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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