We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize