and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
