this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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