Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
